Alex Phillimore: (alex.phillimore-deleteme[at]-deleteme-direman [dot] com) 2014-02-18 16:52:50
The Mii Channel Music Sounds Like Softcore Porn
Porn soundtracks are the stuff of the 70s and have faded into obscurity in modern times. Perhaps it's because the porn industry has become so bloated with content since the birth of the internet that there's simply no need to put out high-quality pornographic material? Whatever the reason, though admittedly seedy, the people who made that original industry music deserve a little bit of recognition - some of the music accompanying Ron Jeremy's films is the bomb.
I think modern porn music, if it ever made a come-back, would sound a lot like the Mii Channel music from Nintendo's Wii system:
Imagine this playing while a strong-bodied fellow walks into a room and eyes up a scantily-clad woman. Cue lots of thrusting and moaning while the above song continues to play. You might be thinking it's not fast-paced enough, but you'd be wrong there - once you really get into the rhythm it all starts coming together. If you don't believe me, hit 'play' and then get cracking with your partner - loop it if you have high endurance. One of two things will happen during coitus if you engage in it while the above is playing. Either:
1. You'll have the best sex of your life or;
2. You'll never have sex again
It's a risk many consider worth taking.