Satoru Iwata's Gonna Buy You a Mockingbird

Alex Phillimore Alex Phillimore: (alex.phillimore-deleteme[at]-deleteme-direman [dot] com) 2014-05-16 16:06:30

Satoru Iwata's Gonna Buy You a Mockingbird

"Oh, mockingbird...why do you play upon my mind? Can you not see I am distracted trying to sell Wii U consoles to people throughout the US and beyond?"

"Ca-caw! Ca-caw! The Wii U is too expensive! Ca-caw! Ca-caw!"

"But mockingbird, there you perch atop a Playstation 4, your talons gripping to it for dear life. How can you say that the Wii U is too expensive when your console of choice costs far more?"

"Ca-caw! Ca-caw! The Playstation 4 offers better value for money!"

"But mockingbird, does it truly? After all, look at the amount of games on the Playstation 4 - a new Killzone; a new Infamous - and tell me that the console really offers a better gaming experience. Is it honestly better value for money?"

"Ca-caw! Ca-caw! It has much better graphics, so yes!"

"But mockingbird, are you sure? After all, quite a few critics have observed that Mario Kart 8 looks just as good, if not better, than many Playstation 4 games, while many of its high-tier games run natively in 60fps at 1080p. Therefore, I'm not really sure if the graphical fidelity of Wii U really does pale in comparison to the Playstation 4, and even if it lacks at least some of the horsepower, the difference is so marginal it barely matters."

"Ca-caw! Ca-caw! I refuse to buy a Wii U until it has more games on it!"

"But mockingbird, the Wii U does have a lot of games out on it now. On the eShop there are gems such as Scram Kitty & His Buddy On Rails but this only makes up a small portion of what the system has to offer. Let's not forget exclusives such as Pikmin 3, The Wonderful 101, Super Mario 3D World, Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze and more. How many games, pray tell, does the system need to have out on it before you'll buy one?"

"Ca-caw! Ca-caw! It doesn't matter how many games launch on the Wii U, I don't plan on getting one anyway - I just want to annoy people by saying the console is shit! Ca-caw! Ca-caw!"

"But mockingbird, have you even played a Wii U before?"

"Ca-naw! Ca-naw! Ca-naw! Ca-naw! Ca-naw! Ca-naw! Ca-naw! Ca-naw!"

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