We all live in a Diskinected World


Alex Phillimore Alex Phillimore: (alex.phillimore-deleteme[at]-deleteme-direman [dot] com) 2014-05-24 10:45:16

We all live in a Diskinected World


Right now we're living in a diskinected world. There was a chance, fleeting as it was, that we could have interacted with one another in fresh new ways - through Microsoft's Kinect device, packaged as a mandatory addition with all Xbox Ones. The future was there, before our eyes, waiting for us to reach out and grab it. We could have been an always-on society if people hadn't raised a stink; Big Brother Bill could have watched us while we slept, ate and bred through the Kinect's motion-sensing, heat-tracking, semen-hungry camera. It would have been the next great stage in transhumanism - leaving behind our mortal bodies to be constantly tracked by robots. In the process, we would have become more machine-like ourselves, unifying us with our inevitable cyborgian future.

But one too many appeals later and we're back at the starting line with a chunk of hardware that offers nothing more than a marginal increase in graphical potential over its predecessor. The Xbox One is a more powerful Xbox 360 rather than a new bit of futuristic hardware. At launch it was outdated by a decent-but-not-great PC; by the time it's on its last legs we'll be squinting at how bad native 720, upscaled 1080 looks when processed by the Xbox One.

Why don't people like the idea of being spied on? We need spies to protect us. If someone at Microsoft who is vastly more qualified than us wants to sit there watching my breasts bouncing up and down while I play a motion-sensing game, they have earned that right to do so without my consent. If they want to track how much sperm I have swimming around in my testicles to keep tabs on how likely I am to continue the human race, that's just practical, man - how else are we going to keep track of these important things without Kinect?

With the release of the Xbox One that doesn't actually come with the Kinect - showing how insignificant it always was to the overall hardware - Microsoft has pussied out of its desire to herd us like sheep. I was fully ready to be led by the nose at the behest of Bill and his wanton ways. Now I have to go back to thinking for myself and measuring my own body temperature with a thermometer - tell me, is that really progress?

By removing the Kinect from its system, we are now living in a diskinected world - one where we have to fend for ourselves without robotic virtual guidance. I hope everyone is happy - you get to think for yourself for another day.

Whoop-dee-doo.

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