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Ugly or Shallow

Dee Yun Dee Yun: (contact-deleteme[at]-deleteme-direman [dot] com) 2007-06-01 07:57:44

Ugly or Shallow

The trick is to find a hot chick who doesn't know she's hot. The only type of girl who fits this bill are former ugly ducklings, who grew up homely and blossomed late. They tend to have worthwhile personalities, whereas girls who were always pretty have been ingrained to expect the royal treatment. I saw my wife's junior high pictures, and flat out told her I wouldn't have dated her. She's hot now, and not shallow!

I finally got around to playing Ninja Gaiden Black. If you claim to be a gamer, you absofuckinglutely must play it. It's the pinnacle of the 3rd person action meta-genre. The gameplay is incredibly deep, and grows increasingly rewarding as you figure out the intricacies of the combat system. You slowly start with button mashing, then begin to recognize moves which you piece together into combos and strings of counterattacks...and then you have this zen moment when the entire experience gels together. Suddenly, you're flowing smoothly from one deadly slick action to another, responding in a flurry of unmitigated awesomeness. As stupid as this comparison may seem, the last time I felt that way was when I was active in martial arts, and hit a point where everything I had practiced clicked together and turned my scrawny 130 lb. ass into a formidable opponent.

You may have heard that Ninja Gaiden is hard. That's like saying the sun is hot, or Katherine Heigl isn't ugly. Ninja Gaiden forces you to dig deep and summon up the old school gamer in you. I have yet to crack the hardest Ninja Master difficulty, but so far, it tops Devil May Cry 3 in the ability to simply kick me in the sack. However, it never feels cheap; when you die, you know it's your fault. The controls are so precise and articulate, that only skill (or the lack thereof) shines through.

Team Ninja is currently working on a reworked version for the PlayStation 3 that looks amazing. These guys are some of the most talented graphics programmers in the industry; Dead or Alive 3 for the old Xbox looks better than many 360 titles. When the PS3 gets around to hitting a significant price drop, Ninja Gaiden Sigma might be the first bit of software I snag. I won't mind at all replaying the game. For those of you who don't feel like spending $660, the <$20 Xbox version is beautiful in its own right, and is backward compatible on the 360. The emulated anti-aliasing cleans it up nicely.

I regret not having the time to finish it on the hardest difficulties, because Forza 2 just hit yesterday and is consuming all my gaming time. Nevertheless, I feel confident in grading this as one of the greatest games of all time.

Ninja Gaiden Black - Rank S

Oh, and Katherine Heigl isn't ugly.

Now Playing - Forza Motorsport 2 (360)

Xbox Live Gamertag - Vawce

Wouldn't even care if she was shallow.

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