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Dee Yun: (contact-deleteme[at]-deleteme-direman [dot] com) 2007-07-06 06:23:24
Fuck You Codes
I've been spoiled by Xbox Live. Yeah, Microsoft needs to wise up and eliminate the fee for it so it can go uber-mainstream, but the integration is so smooth and seamless, I've never minded paying the measly $4 a month for it. For those of you who adhere to the mantra, "I get all that from PlayStation Network for free", you really don't understand how slick a unified service Live is. Everything from game invites to voice chat and messaging to downloading games and media simply works on the fly, with a singular master platform tying together every aspect of the 360. It's gotten to the point where I hate playing my other consoles, because I just might miss out on whatever's happening with my 360 crew. I <3 Live.
Nintendo, on the other hand, is royally pissing me off. First off, there are no games. My Wii was essentially a brick for the months in between Super Paper Mario and Resident Evil 4. The prior was a GameCube project delayed for the Wii, and the latter is a two and a half year old straight up port. So far, the Wii is bullshit. The only games that make proper use of the waggle tech are the shallow Wii Sports and Trauma Center, which was a DS port for crying out loud!
Secondly, none of their games are internet enabled. Even goofy party stuff like WarioWare could've really benefited from online play. The first online game, maybe the only this year, will be Pokemon Battle Revolution. Gee, yay. I can already envision the eight-year olds harnessing the power of the internet to wage epic duels of rock-paper-scissor.
Thirdly, when Smash Brothers finally hits the Wii, you'll have to enter one of those ridiculous string of numbers Nintendo calls "friend codes" for each and every buddy you want to play with regularly. And when Mario Kart rolls in, you'll need to acquire new sets of codes from everybody. And so forth for each online game. This is even more retarded than entering hexadecimal progress codes in battery-less cartridge games back in the day. It's as if Nintendo was actively trying to impede people from playing with their friends. I can already picture me and my friends trying to get everyone into the same game, giving up in frustration and saying, "Fuck it; let's just play Halo 3."
On top of everything, these games we love won't even employ the Wii's motion controls. I mean, what's the point? Other than soccer moms playing Wii Sports, I'm not seeing the "revolution". Why jerk real gamers around into buying another console if you're not going to deliver? At this point, I'm wishing that Nintendo had gone the way of Sega, so that we could be playing these beloved franchises over Xbox Live.
Man, I just had a vision of how awesome it would've been if Microsoft had acquired Nintendo. Imagine the nuclear explosion an Animal Crossing MMO would be over Live. Dream of Mario Kart/F-Zero online racing with leader boards and downloadable ghosts. Picture downloading Live Arcade games and streaming them onto the DS for portable play. Fuck, just imagine everyone's DS connected together by Live. It'd be a massive orgasm of gamer unification.
Now Playing - Resident Evil 4 (Wii)
Xbox Live Gamertag - Vawce