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Dee Yun Dee Yun: (contact-deleteme[at]-deleteme-direman [dot] com) 2007-11-19 07:31:39

Today's Strip and Post Are Particularly Foul

It was distasteful even writing up the script for Vargas to draw, but I felt that it needed to be honest and representative. Not nearly every game lobby on Xbox Live is this bad, and there are plenty of friendly, civilized gamers, but this scenario is common enough that experiencing it is a foregone eventuality.

I am not a man of the people, and have no wish to be, because people suck. To compound this fundamental truth, I am also an arrogant elitist who despises the fact that I am of the same species as these unwashed cretins, like Wedge in today's comic. Sometimes I strive for nobility, take a deep breath, and attempt to clearly and simply answer their questions or correct any misunderstandings.

More often, however, the ignoble scoffing mocker side of me effects this sardonic persona I've concocted. It's better with the voice, and if I find a way to record my "Greatest Hits", I'll share them on the site, but it goes something like, "Oh my GOD OHMYGOD! That guy knows I am of the homosexualizations! I think he fancies me! Where's my rape whistle?!"

This usually confuses the pitiable imbecile whose entire repertoire consists of repeatedly uttering, "You're a fag!"

That's when I turn to my buddies and say, "Isn't it great when internet tough guys have nothing to say the instant you become the least bit clever? They really shouldn't enter a contest of wits if they're unarmed." I find the continuing silence (broken only by the laughter of my compatriots) to be particularly satisfying. It's even funnier when they try saying "You're a fag!" again.

Other times, I have no recourse left to me but to simply be the biggest prick I can. There was this one dude who was heading to Okinawa soon, and complained that, and I quote, "I'll be surrounded by nothing but fucking AH-CHING-CHONG bullshit."

I chimed right in, "Dude, fuck yeah, I hate those fucking gooks."

He got excited, "No shit! I'll be stuck there with them slanted pussies!"

My mouth of Asian descent then uttered, "Shit. I don't even know who's fucking worse. The Japs, Chinks or those fucking shithead Koreans!"

"Fuck, they're all fucking fags!"

"No doubt! Fuck them! I do have to say that AZN teenage boys have the tightest asses and give the best head!"

"Fuck yeah...wait, what?"

David Vargas David Vargas: (dave-deleteme[at]-deleteme-squishycomics [dot] com) 2007-11-19 17:03:19

F*CK Mexicans!

So I'm in the middle of a Call of Duty match with my good buddy (his name witheld since I don't feel like asking if he'd be cool with posting his name in a public forum). We're doing our thing when some of the guys on our team begin to say some rather... "rude" things about Mexicans. My buddy immediately ceases to speak to them (he's of Korean blood in case you're wondering). I, out of morbid curiousity, chime in with a very sarcastic and 'accent-less' American English, "I am quite shocked and offended at your comments, good sir!"

The match ends and we're back in the lobby where one of the guys starts with the comments again. Another one says something that I couldn't quite make out, but it had that 'dude, knock it off' tone. The first guy says something to the tone of "Dude, he's f*cking with you, he's white like us. There's no wetbacks here. We'd hear it in their voice."

With that, I get pulled back to the party screen with just me and my buddy. I say, "Aw, man, I wanted to see where they were going with this". My buddy just said "No, you didn't."

While I'm fairly certain there's a hint of an accent betraying my Mexican family roots, it's been apparently worn down from decades of speaking primarily English so much so that I've been able to hear what people have to say about "Hispanics" over the phone since I obviously don't have brown skin. They'd be able to tell by how I speak. Years of that prevent me from really getting offended. Now I just have fun with it and play along. It amuses me.

Anyway, just thought I'd share that with you. If any of you have the urge to play a few rounds with us, drop us a line. Y'all know Dee is "Vawce". I'm "Late Customer". Just be warned, you just might be exposed to some yellow or brown people in addition to our white skinned brothers. And remember, as Dee once said to another dude on Live, "Nah, we won't hate you because you're a Jew, we'll hate you because you're a human being."

Dee Yun Dee Yun: (contact-deleteme[at]-deleteme-direman [dot] com) 2008-02-16 15:45:04

I'm not racist, I hate everyone...

What's funny is he immediately responded by sending me a Friend Request.

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