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Metal Gear Solid Metaphors

Dee Yun Dee Yun: (contact-deleteme[at]-deleteme-direman [dot] com) 2008-06-16 04:56:12

Subtextual Gobbledygook

There lies within the Metal Gear Solid series truly exceptional gameplay, but it's always buried under mounds of interminable cinematics that slather the player with delusions of metaphorical grandeur. Clearly, many players love being slathered up, but I find the whole experience intensely frustrating. I just want to get to the game.

Hardcore MGS fans spend untold hours attempting to unravel the mess of a story, and praising the depth and significance of its narrative. To these people, I say, pick up a good novel. If MGS were a book, it'd be the laughingstock of the literary community. Just because you put together a clusterfuck of a story that's difficult to follow, much less comprehend, doesn't make it good. Wrapping those elements inside cocoons of pretentious metaphors and 5+ hours of non-interactive cut scenes does nothing but make George Lucas look like a genius.

I tried to make today's strip as outrageous as possible, but frankly, I had difficulty matching the ardent fervor of real life fanboys. The following nonsense is a snippet excerpted from the mind of professional Metal Gear Solid and Sony fanboy, Shane Bettenhausen. He's an entertaining and frequently insightful podcaster with an encyclopedic knowledge of videogames, but sometimes he'll spew out gibberish like this. Even if this analysis has any validity whatsoever, who the fuck should ever care about this sort of drivel?

Now Playing - Metal Gear Solid 4 (PS3), Ninja Gaiden II (360), and Culdcept SAGA (360)
Xbox Live/PSN Gamertag - Vawce

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