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Age of Conan

Dee Yun Dee Yun: (contact-deleteme[at]-deleteme-direman [dot] com) 2008-06-23 09:24:58

Age of Loincloths

Age of Conan can now count itself among the very small number of MMOs to actually make a tiny dent in World of Warcraft. A large part of its allure is its wanton brutality, sexuality, and general "grittiness". Female character creation includes adjusting a "breast slider". Posteriors for both genders can also be adjusted to properly fill out the very many varieties of loincloths players will invariably rotate through before finding sturdier groin armor. Even high end "full plate armor" shows off the tender inner thighs, providing scant coverage for your junk in the form of a skirt-like tasset. These evoke a brutally sexy and gritty pre-Flood "Hyborian Age".

It's like the Mortal Kombat of MMOs. This isn't a particularly insightful comment; it's an easy comparison since Age of Conan features fatalities. Between the tits and decapitations, this game is awesomeness as defined by a thirteen-year-old. Fortunately, I am more than capable of regressing into a thirteen-year-old mentality.

As cool as shit like this is:

This guy is my fucking hero:

Anyone who loves PvP will find the "free for all PvP" servers a thrilling affair. Somebody jumped me the instant my brand new character entered into existence. The dude was camping, waiting for me to be squeezed out of the vagina of character creation. Well, kick ass! That means I can do the same! Unlike World of Warcraft, you can attack anybody, and level differences aren't nearly as vast. Lowbies can gang up to bring down even much higher level characters, like ants swarming to defeat a scorpion. The potential for the art of ganking, griefing, and politicking has an extremely high ceiling here.

I haven't had much time with Age of Conan yet. Naturally, there are numerous issues and bugs, and it appears that it's constantly being patched. But I can see the appeal of its kickassery and boobage. I'm intrigued by the idea of joining a guild to build a fortress, and warring with neighbors. If any of my readers is on a free-for-all server, and would like to invite me to their guild, let me know.

Now Playing - Age of Conan (PC), Metal Gear Solid 4 (PS3), Ninja Gaiden II (360), and Culdcept SAGA (360)
Xbox Live/PSN Gamertag - Vawce

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