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Dee Yun Dee Yun: (contact-deleteme[at]-deleteme-direman [dot] com) 2009-07-17 08:50:13

They're Just Jerks

I had this thought years ago, but I recently returned to fiddling around with my paladin after several years' hiatus. After dropping a Consecration (the ground around me does damage), I noticed that an innocuous bunny rabbit had wandered within the perimeter, and took a shot of damage sufficient to kill it a hundred times over.

After that, every time I saw a critter, be it a cutesy squirrel or whatnot, I couldn't resisting slamming a JUDGMENT OF LIGHT on them. "Holy" damage, my ass.

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Dee Yun Dee Yun: (contact-deleteme[at]-deleteme-direman [dot] com) 2009-07-17 09:09:30

Diplomacy IV - Spring 1901

Play the home version by following these forum threads! The adjudicator is also running a side game of wagering for spectators.

The image below depicts the latest state of the board. A larger version is available for viewing by clicking on it.

Austria opened without covering his border with Italy. Presumably he's all set with the Italians diplomatically, and that gives the Archduke a free hand to face the Balkans with the concentration of all the forces he can put together. Just as in 1914, the full force of Austria is ready to descend on Serbia and have a massive steampunk dance party in Belgrade - what? No. It's in the history books, trust me.

England has likewise found some diplomatic common ground with the French, which makes sense. Securing the coasts from foreign fleets is the Prime Minister's first responsibility. Now he has the option of using his fleets or convoying his army into Scandinavia or the Low Countries. Where will he intervene and who is his chosen opponent? Only time will tell. The Spanish Inquisition might be able to drag it out of him, but no one has the right to expect that.

France has taken its respite in the north to move strongly to secure its Iberian centers for the builds. But what is that army in Burgundy doing? Is that the faint sound of taunting the Germans I hear? Or are they merely asking for directions to Belgium? In the end, the result may be the same.

Germany had an initial set of orders like Amy Adams in Enchanted, not too surprising or offensive. Then he turned in a second set of moves like Helena Bonham Carter in The Half-Blood Prince. In the north, the German fleet gobble gobbled up Denmark (Turkeys on ships? I thought that would be the Sultan in the late game!) while the other German armies make a mad dash for Warsaw. We never see this opening in Diplomacy because it is ultimately foolish. Even if Germany isn't bogged down in Russia, a cooperating England and France will gain control of Belgium, possibly even Holland, and make short work of the Kaiser. It's pretty clear that our new player has been duped by another power.

Italy opened with a nice conservative opening that protects his options. I can safely say that Italy will not tunnel under the Alps to attack Germany, but aside from that Italy may still move in any direction, as inscrutable as the small rational homunculus that hides beneath Donald Trump's hairpiece and tells him everything he eventually decides not to do.

Russia has made the surprising decision to divide his forces - a fleet and an army each to the north and the south. Is there any arrangement with Austria? Is the Sultan as angry at the Russians as she appears? What to do about Warsaw, and are the forces in the north going to clash with the English over Norway or the Germans over Sweden? We can tell that as talented as the Russian Folk Dancers are, they haven't shown us all their moves yet.

Turkey aggressively forced her way towards Russia with every unit in her arsenal. Turkey is so constrained that the Sultan must make either forceful moves or excellent feints. Has Turkey merely decided to become migratory or does the Sultan have a sudden hankering for borscht in Moscow?

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