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M. Rossi

Dee Yun Dee Yun: (contact-deleteme[at]-deleteme-direman [dot] com) 2009-11-02 04:53:55

Only Funny to Forza Motorsport Fans

I always hesitate to do comic strips with such a narrow focus. I mean, just about every gamer has played a Super Mario or Halo title at some point in their lives so doing a comic strip with Master Chief reaches plenty of people. But Forza Motorsport is a series, while immensely successful in its niche, is still a niche series. What made me pursue today's punchline, however, was the entertainment I found from perusing various Forza game forums. From the official forums to GameFAQs, there are numerous threads expressing vehement rage at one M. Rossi, followed by questions from Forza newcomers asking who he is and what he does that warrants such vitriol. I saw one post conjecturing that the name might be the gamertag of a particularly infamous Xbox Live member.

M. Rossi is the name of the most aggressive A.I. driver in the Forza Motorsport series. He drives with constant road rage. If he's in front of you, he'll brake check you into a wall. If he's behind you, he'll pit maneuver you into the grass. We've all had moments while videogaming when we've wanted to hurl our controllers through the television, but M. Rossi is the only virtual nemesis to repeatedly and consistently send me into apoplectic fits over THREE iterations of one game. If I was an older man, that MOTHERFUCKER ROSSI (I am convinced that the 'M' stands for Motherfucker and will not be dissuaded into thinking otherwise) would have me on blood pressure medication.

(I hope that Forza fans find today's strip cathartic, and that others at least find Tina's perspective relatably amusing.)

Thankfully, Forza Motorsport 3 has a new feature that massively quells these violent eruptions of frustration. You can rewind your race progress at any time. Should you completely misjudge braking distance and fly off the track, clip a railing at 170mph sending you tumbling, or get wrecked by Motherfucker Rossi trying to pass you by driving straight through your drivetrain, you can reverse time to before your race went straight to hell. I'm somewhat torn on this feature; it feels like cheating. You can drive as recklessly as you like, knowing that you can simply erase any negative consequences. On the other hand, it's only for use in the singleplayer modes which can become a grind on par with the worst in any MMO. How refreshing would it be if you could reset a World of Warcraft guild raid to immediately before a boss fight in the eventuality of a wipe? I generally avoid using this feature, but I do relent if a big mistake on the final lap would save me the precious loss of a segment of my life involved in replaying the entire race.

I'm hoping to review it soon (man, am I swamped behind a backlog of game critiques to write up), but any racing sim fanatic simply MUST pick up a copy. It's not a groundbreaking revolution like the previous Forza, but still a significant upgrade from its predecessor. Imagine dating someone who's already pretty hot, and then they suddenly diet and exercise to physical perfection. There's nothing truly new about Forza Motorsport 3, but it IS definitively (even stronger than 'definitely') sexier.

Now Playing - Uncharted 2 (PS3) and Forza Motorsport 3 (360)
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(POST SCRIPT: Oh man, baseball fans just saw one of the most amazing finishes to a World Series game. It doesn't top, say, Gibson's walk off home run in '88, but Johnny Damon stealing two bases on a single pitch is startling and HILARIOUS if you're not a Phillies fan. It's about 1:40 into this video. I've seen Derek Jeter do it in the past, but to pull it off with two outs in the 9TH INNING of a TIED WORLD SERIES game to set up the winning run?! Wow. I now fully forgive Damon for that grand slam AGAINST the Yankees a few years ago. He full on OWNED Brad Lidge - I don't care what the Phillies manager said; that is ABSOLUTELY the pitcher's responsibility to cover third on an infield shift. Let's go Yankees! - - * * *)

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