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Bonus Stage

Dee Yun Dee Yun: (contact-deleteme[at]-deleteme-direman [dot] com) 2006-02-01 01:27:47

So You See A Car...

Somehow, instinctually, everyone knows what they're supposed to do upon seeing this bonus stage for the first time. I'm going to test that with my son once he's able to mash buttons with any amount of comprehension.

It's funny how we don't bat an eye while playing Final Fight or Street Fighter II, but this is just plain nonsensical within the context of even the most minimalistic plot. God bless the Japanese; we Western devils lack the mental apparatus to formulate ideas this warped. A buddy of mine, just back from Tokyo, regaled me with tales of an exotic realm wherein robots distribute catalogs for antiques and entire department store floors are dedicated to Gundam or cosplay. Electronic toilets greet you and urge you to use them. Their subway system has a mascot: a transit officer with a fish for a head (mind you, not a fish head, but a fish for a head).

It's this delicious (in)sensibility that delivers such wonderful games from our trans-Pacific friends. Capcom needs to be reminded about their offbeat heritage, and to reinstitute this classic bonus stage. It could improve just about any game. Imagine an entry to the Devil May Cry franchise; in between levels, Dante happens to come across Virgil's car. What would he do? Well duh, he would use those awesomely silly chain combos to leave it a smoldering wreck! The better you smash it up, the more of those red power-up orb thingies you would get. Onimusha 3 had our ancient samurai hero, Samanosuke, time traveling to modern France. You're telling me he wouldn't katana a demonic Le Car or two?

They'd darn well better have it in the upcoming Final Fight remake.

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