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Abrams Named Director

Dee Yun Dee Yun: (contact-deleteme[at]-deleteme-direman [dot] com) 2013-01-29 02:46:00

Abrams Named Director

Dang. Brad Bird (The Incredibles, Ghost Protocol) would've kicked ass.

We'll be gettin' some J.J. Abrams flavored Star Wars. He's the dude who launches initially amazing television shows fueled by cool, weird mysteries like Alias and Lost and jets before explaining anything leaving the remaining writers to flounder because they were just cool and weird mysteries with no actual answers that make any goddamn sense whatsoever. That last sentence was less convoluted than any of his shows. So now he's the Star Trek AND Star Wars guy. Weird.

My bud and I worked it out. "Episode 7" will feature:

1. A canon violation that will make fans explode the internet in a frenzy of apoplexy.
2. A sappy ass love story that will at some point necessitate #4.
3. A smoke monster and/or zombies caused by whatever MacGuffin the Jedi are after.
4. Intense Jedi sobbing a la Jennifer Garner and Matthew Fox.

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