Role Playing Thread

The inaugural game was won by Paul & Dee (Germany)

Re: Role Playing Thread

Postby Chang on Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:24 am

These are the words of the most benevolent of rulers, Sultan Chang, First of His Name, Emperor of the Ottoman Turks, Conqueror of the Frozen North.

'Tis been too long since the Sultan has addressed the Lords of the West. The Sultan wishes to address each of the Great Nations directly:

To the Czar of Russia: The Sultan wishes that the Czar not flee his ancestral home of Moscow before the legions of Turkish forces finally march upon the streets fo the Russian capitol. The Sultan, in fact, wishes to offer the Czar the rank of Governor of Moscow, and Vizier of the North, as well as maintaining his ceremonial rank of Czar of Russia. The Sultan would hope that the Czar would seriously consider the honor of representing the Sultan's rule alongside the benefit of avoiding the unnecessary bloodshed of his citizenry.

To the Emperor of Austria: The Sultan is grateful that the goals of the Austrian Empire has stepped alongside those of Turkey. We hope that the jewel that is Warsaw is gift enough to show the Sultan's appreciation.

To the High Inquisitor of Italy: The Sultan has watched the movements of the Papal armies, and in all honesty, is quite perplexed by the erratic nature of your armies. However, it appears that the Italian forces are now focused on confronting the French insurgents, and the Sultan declares that this is good. Despite the differences in our religions and their contentious histories, the Sultan understands that heretics are a far greater threat than infidels, and wishes the Inquisitor's forces march with their God's strength.

To the new regime in Germany: It saddens the Sultan to know that there is unrest and uncertainty in the German Empire. The Sultan is more than willing to accept your offer of cease fire until you get your issues resolved with your allies in France and Russia. Though the Sultan has had his misgivings about your particular political group rising to power, given your close ties to neutral Switzerland, the Sultan would like to emphasize his confidence in the propriety of the Swiss government with regards to German entanglements.

To the King of England, and his Prime Minister: The Sultan has received word of your entanglements with the French and German fleets, and is continuously surprised by the resilience of your island nation. As a result, The Sultan understands that the nation of England is not to be underestimated. Turkey watches England carefully and looks forward to the day our armies face each other across the battlefield.

To the Emperor of France: The news that have reached Turkey from your nation is both mysterious and troubling. Your ravings of walking dead and the grievous death of your queen forces the Sultan to question the stability of your reign. The very thought of a sovereign willing to abandon his people to such a horrible fate chills the Sultan to the bone. My lord, you decry this "plague" as a judgement by God upon your people for their sinful ways, a reprisal for your hedonism and stiff-necked ways. But the wise Sultan will share with you a kernel of the vast wisdom gleaned from decades of rule: a ruler's strength is drawn from his people...as is his weakness. Face this challenge like the divinely appointed head of state that you are! Do not tuck tail and run like a beaten dog! Stand and fight for the survival of your kingdom!

As these next months see Europe roiled like the North Atlantic during a winter storm, only calm heads will prevail. The Sultan advises all to be prepared for the coming tempest.

The Sultan also hopes that the gift baskets of delicious Turkish baklava and fine Black Sea Buloga caviar find you well.

Assalamu Alaikum
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Re: Role Playing Thread

Postby Mike on Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:12 pm

OOC

Zombies in Spain should be neutralized shortly by this man:

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OMG AND THE MASTERMIND BEHIND IT WAS A COMBINATION OF EMPEROR ZYTOXINE HIMSELF (with his 2 lackies)

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IN LEAGUE WITH THE POPE!!!!!

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Semper Iratus, Motherfucker.
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Re: Role Playing Thread

Postby Zytoxine on Wed Jan 07, 2009 4:34 am

An important announcement to the leaders of Europe:

There are no zombies in France. Ex-Emperor Zytoxine I seems to have lost his mind in the recent months. During his escape to his private sailboat, he killed fourty three Frenchmen, women, children, and one dog, screaming madly at the top of his lungs that they'd never take him alive. He was armed with a ceramonial blade, a two-man lumberjack's blade, a single shot revolver, and a quilled pen. After boarding his vessel, he hit a rock 200 yards from the dock, and began to sink. Fearing that underwater zombies had started pulling the ship under, he began opening fire on the floor of the boat, and struck a barrel of kerosene, sending the whole thing up in a fiery explosion. All that has been found of his corpse was his charred monacle, which washed up in Portugal.

His wife was not dead, but merely taking a nap in his reading chair, after having cleaned up some spilled CranApple juice on it earlier. After hearing the news of her husband's disturbing death, she threw herself out a window. She broke both her legs, and while trying to crawl for help, she was run over by a stagecoach, and killed-near immediately. Her body has still not been entirely recovered, after native rabid tigers ran off with a large majority of the pieces.

A new leader shall be appointed to France shortly. Please bear with us.

-France's Management
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Re: Role Playing Thread

Postby weather wizard on Thu Jan 08, 2009 8:03 pm

***Leaked wireless telegrams***

From Cpt Winthrop 1st Fleet HMS Bellerphon

To Royal Admiralty High Command

Fleet occupying Brest region stop
Port Cherbourg secured stop
No significant resistance stop
Marine recon sent inland stop
No zombies stop
Citizens of Cherbourg starving stop
Request more food and medical supplies stop
--------

From Col McGrady OP74 Edinburg

To Edinburgh civil defense

French fleet heads to high seas stop
Imminent attack not anticipated stop
Sending patrol boats to track mvt stop
Advise action stop

---------

From Col Henderson OP15 London

To London civil defense

French fleet heads to high seas stop
Unknown destination stop
Advise 1st fleet of mvt stop
Advise action stop
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Re: Role Playing Thread

Postby Chang on Sat Jan 10, 2009 1:43 am

I, Grand Vizier Suleiman al Jalali, offer unto you the words of His Majesty, Sultan Chang, First of His Name.

It is a dark day in Constantinople, for the Sultan's wrath has been unleashed upon the backs of a dozen dozen slaves and prisoners. The treachery of the Austrians has benighted his countenance and now he seeks retribution against he that has earned his ire.

The Kaiser of Austria has betrayed the Sultan. He has taken the aid of Turkey to conquer Warsaw and in return stood against the Sultan's armies as they marched to Moscow. What riches could the Russians have offered to Austria that they are willing to risk destruction at the hands of Boundless Turkey? Or did the Germans offer Austria a deal that would give to them Moscow? One can only assume that madness has gripped the Kaiser, barring for him all logic and rationality.

Turkey's patience was abused, it's willingness to help place Austrian forces taken for granted. Now they will face the horrors of Turkey. On this day, the Sultan of the Ottoman Empire, sanctions war against the upstart Austrians. They are to be swept up like dust, and scattered to the four winds.

We will not forget the treachery of the Hapsburg swine!
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Re: Role Playing Thread

Postby dipsosis on Sat Jan 10, 2009 3:11 am

The Kaiser has indeed been suffering trying times. A particularly prolonged and grievous bout of gout prevents His Majesty from executing the day to day necessities of his office. In his stead, General Hasselhoff (who lead Germany to victory in Scandinavia, St. Petersburg, and Paris) shall assume all responsibilities regarding foreign policy.

Please click this link for Generalfeldmarschall Hasselhoff's acceptance speech.
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Re: Role Playing Thread

Postby Chang on Sun Jan 11, 2009 9:22 am

The Sultan, Emperor of the Ottoman Turks, Ruler of the Eternal State, speaks. Take heed, O Nations, to his ominous words!

Naples have fallen to our armies, and our flag flies atop the battlements of every fort that looks out upon the Mediterranean Sea. The nominal Italian forces that secured the regions fell like chaff before our winnowing blade. Captured officers travel now onto Constantinople to be questioned by the Sultan's intelligence services. The captured foot soldiers have been released to return to their homelands without their weapons and their eyebrows.

My Lord High Inquistor: do not be surprised by the sudden appearence of Turkish troops upon your shores. We hear that the cuisine in Naples is exquisite. Is it true that they roll pasta upon the thighs of maidens?

The Sultan has declared that the Turkish Empire will become the preeminent force in the Mediterranean. From Red Sea to the Rock of Gibraltar, the Turkish Navy will patrol the waters in the name of Sultan Chang I. Austria has betrayed Turkey in its quest to destroy Russia, therefore all must be punished. If the Sultan is denied the North, then the West will be his. Italy will find that the Sultan's rule is just and fair. Loyal subservience will be rewarded, but disobedience will be punished harshly: we have wax cylinder recordings of Germany's General Hasselhoff singing the hits. His mad croonings will pierce you to the core.

Assalamu Alaikum and Ciao!
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Re: Role Playing Thread

Postby dipsosis on Thu Jan 15, 2009 9:51 am

It is with great regret that Germany announces the intention to incorporate England into the Paulskirchenverfassung. It is the tremendous respect for British prowess that compels us into this action, before the "empire that the sun never sets upon" can be restored. Generalfeldmarschall Hasselhoff has deemed fit to invite Great Britain into the Reichsdeutsche. The British monarchy shall be kept intact, and autonomous self-government is assured.

In the event of war, Germany is by no means certain of victory, but no other course could safeguard her interests. We understand that His Majesty would be reluctant to accept our proposal, but prolonged warfare could potentially result in mutually assured destruction. We exhort the Crown to consider our offer.

Should our invitation be denied, we shall meet England on the honorable field of combat.
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Re: Role Playing Thread

Postby Chang on Thu Jan 15, 2009 3:30 pm

***leaked telegram from the 2nd Fleet***

Assault on Greece failed stop
Admiral found drunk in his bunk stop
Executive Officer has taken command of fleet stop
Admiral arrested and locked in brig stop
Austrian fleet standing off coast of Albania stop
Awaiting new orders stop
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