Breakdown and Trophies

[David Yun]

Iron Man FC (Mike) @ JEST (Dee) 80-89

Mike and I both had some oddities amounting to a combination of good and bad luck both ways. On his end, timeshare CJ Spiller and Vincent Jackson (shadowed by shutdown Flowers) both broke out. Countering that, Matt Ryan (arguably the prime fantasy QB) threw three INTs, managing only one TD to my guy Roddy. On my side, my D and K bottomed out, but somehow I finally picked a strong QB outing. (I couldn't pick wrong, actually, as both Ponder and Dalton popped 19).

Mike is apparently sticking to his "Iron Man" shtick; despite his powerful core, a continued losing record seems likely.

I've been plundering my bench depth throughout the season, putting together loose change into bigger denominations. I just paid about a buck fifty in coins for the dollar bill Tom Brady which should complete my team. Barring injury, I do feel confident of making our league playoffs.

Loss and Losing Streak (retroactive) for Mike (-1), Win and Waiver Find for Dee (+2)

Clown Car (Joel) @ Magic (Vargas) 72-87

NORMALIZATION for Joel! The magical TD fairy dust finally abated for his first loss.

Vargas had a miserable week (@Paul - except for two standout performances from guys I traded to him). And then Aaron Rodgers threw for six touchdowns to give him the win. That's pretty much how I envision the formula for Football is Magic victories.

Loss and Win Streak for Joel (net +2), Win (+1) for Vargas

Trebuchet (Paul) @ Badgers (James) 123-58

What. A. Beatdown. Those associated trophies should stand for the season's duration. Paul has numerous high upside players (who delivered this week), but I need to single out AJ Green. The guy is ELITE. With a sore knee and bum ankle, he devastated his nemesis corner Joe Haden (they've been battling since the SEC, and are now divisional rivals). He's the singular reason I feel doubtful about my Week 8 matchup with Paul.

Nobody showed up for James. 58. Ouch. His team is way better than that.

Win, High Score (week) and Biggest Beatdown (week and season) for Paul (+6); Loss, Low Score (week and season), Worst Loss (week and season), Losing Streak for James (-12)

Gorillaz (Alex) @ Cheesehead (Kang) 86-93

Kang had a decent outing, including a good fantasy performance from Vick. He just picked up Roddy White from me, bolstering his already solid team.

But he very nearly lost. Alex logged another DERP, starting the injured Garcon. And then, Decker, completely unmolested, FALLS ON HIS ASS with nothing but open field in front of him, failing to convert an 85 yard touchdown reception. The ongoing health issues with Adrian Peterson is the key to this team.

Loss and Derpy for Alex (-2), Win for Kang (+1)


Joel 5-1, +14 Trophy Points
Dee 4-2, +6
Vargas 4-2, +5
Paul 3-3, +2
Kang 3-3, 0
Mike 2-4, -3
Alex 2-4, -7
James 1-5, -16

[David Yun]

JEST (Dee) @ Manning (Paul) 72-75

Damn. Hate letting these winnable ones slip by. I got lucky with AJ Green getting held to six (1 reception for a TD, set up by a Big Ben turnover). Luck evens out though; Andrew had two rushing (wtf?!) touchdowns. I got rules lawyered out of a Mike Williams TD. Deadlocked going into MNF, Mikel Leshoure outscored Megatron. (Calvin's got to be one of the biggest first half busts. That's what I get for defying the Madden Curse.)

The rest is my fault, though. Joel and I swapped tight ends, which has been disastrous for me thus far. New Orleans juked me hard with their injury report shenanigans, and I even dropped my backup tight end (who Joel inexplicably stashed, preventing me from reacquiring him for game day). I lost the game right there.

Paul knocked me down into wild card position, and pulled himself even with me into the same. I'm starting to worry about the quality of my running backs and I need a healthy Jimmy Graham, but I still like my chances. Paul continues to pack home run power, and if he can hang onto the wildcard seed, he'll be a dangerous opponent in the playoffs.

Loss for Dee (-1), Win and Waiver Find for Paul (+2)

Badgers (James) @ Clown Car (Joel) 104-144

Despite a serious injury to MJD, James put up a strong week. It didn't matter. Joel was right back to scoring touchdowns all over the place. From now on, I'm going to consider this the "normalization" of his team, and his mortal week 6 as the outlier.

James is falling further behind, despite a solid team and not for a lack of effort. I feel he continues to make some questionable personnel decisions, and I suspect he's heeding the advice of the ESPN tool tips. Most fantasy pundits are imbeciles. There's a lot of football remaining, but Joel looks to roll to the #1 seed.

Loss, Biggest Loss (week), and Losing Streak for James (-5); Win, High Score (week and season) and Biggest Beatdown (week) for Joel (+6)

Cheesehead (Kang) @ Iron Man (Mike) 69-103

With the exception of fantasy mainstay Arian Foster, Kang sputtered. Even during Mike's massive bye week (out his Falcons and Shady), "Iron Man" put up a strong week.

Kang's been rocked by multiple injuries, and we can tack on Jennings and DeMarco Murray as guys out for him down the stretch. His team is held together by spit and waiver finds, and he'll need luck (most likely in the form of bad luck to his competitors) to pull into the playoffs. Mike is hanging on the edge of competitive relevance despite his Iron Man gimmick. Maybe he'll continue to be lucky.

Loss and Low Score (week) for Kang (-2); Win for Mike (+1)

Magic (Vargas) @ Gorillaz (Alex) 97-93

Aaron Rodgers continues to bail Vargas out, and he took control of Shaolin division with this win. Alex put up a strong fight, and fell just short.

Despite Paul's cries to the contrary, my trade with Vargas clearly improved Football is Magic. It helped me as well, but I may regret trading within my division if it means Magic wins like this. Alex now owns the Wudan basement. The trade for Ridley improved his team, but 2-5 is a steep hole to climb out of.

Win for Vargas (+1); Loss (-1) for Alex


Joel 6-1, +17 trophy stars
Vargas 5-2, +6
Dee 4-3, +5
Paul 4-3, +4
Kang 3-4, -2
Mike 3-4, -2
Alex 2-5, -8
James 2-5, -18

[Dave]

I wish I thought of this earlier:

Clown Car (Joel) @ Magic (Vargas) 72-87

NORMALIZATION for Joel! The magical TD fairy dust finally abated for his first loss.

Vargas had a miserable week (@Paul - except for two standout performances from guys I traded to him). And then Aaron Rodgers threw for six touchdowns to give him the win. That's pretty much how I envision the formula for Football is Magic victories.

Loss and Win Streak for Joel (net +2), Win (+1) for Vargas

Duke: He's worried! You cut him! You hurt him! You see? You see? He's not a machine, he's a man!

[David Yun]

Catching up, so I might miss important details due to hazy month old memory...

Cheesehead (Kang) @ JEST (Dee) 67-129

I caught Arian Foster on bye, and put up big points on my end. I correctly (I'm shocked I made a right call too) benched Megatron. I'll need him to recover from the bum knee and nerve damage to contend, but for this week, I had all cylinders pumping. Kang...well, the fact that he's on the periphery of contention with the number of injuries he's had is impressive.

Win and High Score (week) for Dee (+2), Loss for Kang (-1)

Badgers (James) @ Magic (Vargas) 70-44

James put up a low score, but Vargas refused to deny him the win. 44. Wow. Nobody showed up for this matchup. It's only James' 2nd win, and even with it, he's likely cooked this season. Vargas is hoping Aaron Rodgers has thrown all the stinkers out of his system; his playoff push rests on the Pack QB shoulders.

Win (+1) for James, Loss (-1) for Vargas

Trebuchet (Paul) @ Clown Car (Joel) 41-126

I thought 44 was bad. Before the stellar MNF performance from Peyton, Paul was sitting at an abominable 15. SOOOOOO streaky. Joel continues to drop point explosions all over the place.

Loss, Low Score (week and season, and probably league history), Biggest Loss (week and season, and probably league history) for Paul (net -9); Win, Biggest Win (week and season), Waiver Find for Joel (+6)

Gorillaz (Alex) @ Iron Man (Mike) 92-105

A decent outing for Alex, but just too much from Mike. Alex's season is spinning out of control, and Mike's "Iron Man" gimmick refuses to go gentle into that good night.

Loss and Losing Streak for Alex (-4), Win for Mike (+1)

[David Yun]

JEST (Dee) @ Magic (Vargas 99-108

Damn. I picked up Robbie Gould as my bye week kicker because his face made me laugh. (His profile pic is amazing.) Then I over-thought matchups and swapped him out for Shayne Graham who promptly put up next to nothing. The difference between the two kickers would have given me the win. Robbie Gould and his face had the last laugh on me. DAMN.

There was also the small matter of Vargas' 25/30 from Rodgers/Brandon Marshall (3 TDs?!) respectively, and McFadden managing 1 point before a high ankle sprain. Vargas took control of the division, and despite his roster weaknesses, he's sitting pretty. I, on the other hand, lost McFadden AND Percy Harvin to injury. Suddenly, my team is looking vulnerable. The loss of McFadden hurts a lot; the Raiders finally shifted to running more Power I sets and hit the sweet part of their season against crappy run defenses. DAMN DAMN DAMN.

Loss and Waiver Find for Dee (net 0), Win for Vargas (+1)

Badgers (James) @ Cheesehead (Kang) 49-111

Ouch. Nobody showed up for James, as he nearly seized the season low. Kang put up a strong performance, and easily tallied a badly needed win.

Loss, Low Score (week), Worst Loss (week) for James (-3); Win and Biggest Win (week) for Kang (+3)

Clown Car (Joel) @ Iron Man (Mike) 130-76

What the hell ass? Joel gambles on a rookie running back who puts up FIFTY ONE this week. Mike's "Iron Man" bid took a minor hit, as Sproles was diagnosed with a broken hand. Even worse, Mike declined to sub him out to compound the absence of his bye week kicker.

Win and High Score (week) for Joel (+2), Loss, Derp, and "Iron Man" Derp (intentional non-player) for Mike (-3)

Gorillaz (Alex) @ Trebuchet (Paul) 122-88

A convincing win for Alex. He badly needed it to cling to playoff hopes. AP is finally paying off, and has returned to ELITE form (only other ELITE back is Foster). Paul's starting to slip in the standings, and his playoff spot is in danger.

Win for Alex (+1), Loss for Paul (-1)

[David Yun]

Badgers (James) @ JEST (Dee) 115-69

I got a strong outing despite my injuries, and James failed to RUN ALL OVER MY FACE as he did in our first meeting. That pretty much finishes the Badgers season.

Win, High Score (week), and Biggest Win (week) for Dee (+3); Loss, Low Score (week), and Worst Loss (week) for James (-3)

Magic (Vargas) @ Cheesehead (Kang) 104-76

I've noticed a ridiculous trend with Vargas' guys. His WRs keep getting completely blown coverages. I'm talking about nary a defensive back anywhere near them. Steve Smith was completely ignored earlier this season. Brandon Marshall had a freebie. Maclin's had two! Maybe there have been others I haven't noticed. This week, for good measure, AJ Green (okay, not HIS wideout) went completely unguarded to boost Andy Dalton (Vargas' bye week QB) bottom line. It's just plain stupid. And I bet Vargas isn't even aware of how much his Points For have been padded by this trend. On top of that, due to lucky matchups, his weak (even inflated) 923 PF somehow has him at 7-3. I'm not sure who's having the more astonishing season: Vargas, or Joel's nuclear scoring binges.

Kang's seasonal trend is just as amazing. His week 10 lineup sports only one player he drafted: Arian Foster. Injuries have annihilated Vick, DeMarco Murray, Fred Jackson (twice) Greg Jennings, Hakeem Nicks, Jermichael Finley, and Fitz might as well be injured with two terrible (and injured) QBs throwing to him. I traded Roethlisberger to him and he promptly went out with injuries to his shoulder AND ribs. WOW. That's ridiculous.

Win for Vargas (+1), Loss and Waiver Find for Kang (net 0)

Gorillaz (Alex) @ Clown Car (Joel) 93-109

Only 109 Joel? He most likely ended Alex's season.

Loss for Alex (-1), Win for Joel (+1)

Iron Man (Mike) @ Trebuchet (Paul) 94-70

Paul continued his slide with another weak performance resulting in a three game loss streak. He's now tied with Kang one game back of the final playoff spot. However, his streaky guys could swing upward at any time.

I want to dismiss Mike's "Iron Man" gimmick, as lazy and harmful to our league's competitive balance...but he's 5-5! He's currently in playoff position! Mike has managed to avoid significant injuries. In fact, Fred Jackson's injury places CJ Spiller in position to be a top five back for the remainder of the season. With that swing of fortune, he could win this whole thing.

Win for Mike (+1), Loss and Waiver Find (net 0) for Paul


Joel 9-1 (+26)
Vargas 7-3 (+7)
Dee 6-4 (+10)
Mike 5-5 (-3)
Kang 4-6 (-1)
Paul 4-6 (-9)
Alex 3-7 (-12)
James 2-8 (-14)

[David Yun]

Crap. All Joel does is shit gold; whoever he touches explodes in fantasy delight. And I have to face him sans Marshawn Lynch. You should award yourself a "Gold Shitting" trophy.

Give Kang a "Glass Man" trophy involving Sam L from Unbreakable.

Vargas is the "Taco" of our "The League".

Mike is...I dunno. It would be fucking hilarious if he was our inaugural champion.

[David Yun]

Jest (Dee) @ Clown Car (Joel) 141-84

Woah. I out-Joeled Joel. Some of us have been referring to Dez Bryant as "The Lossbringer", and even he scored a dub. I had FOUR running backs and Percy Harvin unavailable, so I'm shocked this lineup yielded my season high. Emergency plug in Felix Jones even scored a TD. I'm especially proud of Marcel Reece's 19, as I identified him ahead of the internet fantasy experts. Regardless, I got crazy lucky.

Joel got goose eggs from his two wideouts, but far worse than the loss, was the injury to Gronkowski. He's out for the remainder and his production simply cannot be duplicated. The salt to the wound is that he broke his arm in meaningless garbage time while Belichek was running up the score.

Win, High Score (week), Biggest Win (week), Waiver Find for Dee (+4); Loss and Worst Loss (week) for Joel (-2)

Cheesehead (Kang) @ Trebuchet (Paul) - 93-99

A very close contest here, with the winner staying in meaningful position for the playoff race. Kang lost due to a subpar output from Arian Foster, and a season high from the normally unimpressive Law Firm.

Kang's in rough shape, and probably needs to win out every remaining game to have a shot. Paul stands a strong chance of sneaking into the playoffs, where he would make for a volatile opponent, capable of home run scoring.

Loss for Kang (-1), Win for Paul (+1)

Magic (Vargas) @ Iron Man (Mike) 72-89

With a mere mortal day from Aaron Rodgers, Mike ran away with this one, even despite a FIVE interception day from Matty Ice.

Mike gained separation from the pack for the final playoff spot, but he may start swooning soon. Shady got rocked by a concussion, and it's possible the Eagles could opt to shut him down with the season in the tank. Julio Jones wrecked his ankle. If Mike remains true to his Iron Man stance, he might limp to the finish line.

Loss and Low Score (week) for Vargas (-2), Win for Mike (+1)

Badgers (James) @ Gorillaz (Alex) 76-86

Alex won what I dubbed the Toilet Bowl, a meeting of our worst records. A MONSTER outing by Andre Jones was squandered by James due to a flex goose egg, a negative defense, and an injury to McGahee. On Alex's end, a BEASTLY performance from RG3 carried the day.

James is done. He can only play for pride and to be a spoiler. I really thought he had a decent team, but various factors prevented the Badgers from playing up to potential. With AP fully recovered, Alex has a potent team, but likely too late. Looking at his Points For, he should have a much better record, but he's on the outside looking in.

Loss for James (-1), Win for Alex (+1)


Joel 9-2 (+24 trophy points)
Dee 7-4 (+14)
Vargas 7-4 (+5)
Mike 6-5 (-2)
Paul 5-6 (-8)
Kang 4-7 (-2)
Alex 4-7 (-11)
James 2-9 (-15)